Where shall we start?

http://www.teamkaizengames.com/kblog/greatest-vacation-evar/ shall suffice. It is an article I wrote on this blog about our journey to E3 earlier this year—actually, only one paragraph is relevant so why don’t I just copy-paste it!

————-
(from older KAIZEN Blog Post)
After some minor delays and frustrations (again, minor–overall we didn’t mind) we arrived at the park. Six Flags Magic Mountain, as a park, is very much a downer and trashy in comparison to Knott’s. Notice, I said the park not all of the coasters. If you are a coaster fanatic, take it as a spot of advice from one coaster fanatic to another, there is some coasters at Magic Mountain worth crossing off your list but, once ridden, you will realize those coasters could be better served by being uprooted and placed at a place like Knott’s that would appreciate and take care of them better. The park itself feels like a prison going in, with people being searched as if they are going to the airport (whereas Knott’s checked bags and had security, Magic Mountain went way above and beyond that because they used to have severe gang problems, so they went to the extreme opposite end of the spectrum) and, on top of that, the park is a hardcore money grab. Most parks place free lockers or cubby holes at all of the attractions so loose articles may be placed in them. Six Flags, on the other hand, charge 1 dollar per ride to hold on to your loos articles in electronic lockers so glitchy they have attendants at the stations specifically to undo bad things, out of the 5 rides we rode 2 of the lockers glitched (one didn’t open after payment the other jammed shut and the attendant and I had to work together to ‘break’ back into it to get my stuff out). So, like I said, the park is epic fail but the coasters themselves are epic win, or atleast some of them.
—————

Upon returning to Great Falls, we couldn’t stop talking with people about how awesome Knott’s Berry Farm was. Their coasters (with the notable exception of Ghost Rider) aren’t as big as Six Flags’, but the soul Knott’s had more than made up for it. Knott’s had security, but I still felt welcome there–they wanted to make sure I wasn’t bringing trouble but, as security was cleared, it was apparent I was a valued guest. Knott’s Berry Farm has a permanent seal of Team KAIZEN approval on it–safe, secure and awesome. On the other hand, we joking called Six Flags Magic Mountain park ‘Guantamano Bay: The Park’ for its’ ridiculous security, moody workers and general lack of upkeep (if you look at most of the coasters, they almost all have peeling paint jobs, worn down stations and generally feel like a senile version of something that was awesome back in the day, but left to die–only X2 looks like it is totally taken care of–and I am sure they meet safety standards I am only saying this from a visual point of view).

In spite of that, Colin (one of our 3D guys whom we met at the PS Blog Party) told me once or twice I should give Magic Mountain a second chance–that they aren’t as bad as I was saying. So, on our way to Japan last month, we had a 24 hour layover in LA. During this layover, Ben (another 3D guy on staff met at PS Blog Party) and Colin met up with us at Knott’s. After having some fun riding Silver Bullet and Sierra SideWinder (BEAUTIFUL coaster BTW!!!), Colin suggested we head to Magic Mountain. He hadn’t ridden X2 since its’ repainting and rechristening, and I thought it’d be cool to get a staff photo of us riding it (since, after all, X2 is such a unique coaster), so we headed out to Valencia to get some more coasters on.

While waiting to go through the prison-like security, Colin joked with me that I should give them the second chance now and hold of on continuing to call them Guantamano Bay: The Park. 30 seconds later, he wasn’t so turned off by that name.

See, back in the day Colin injured his back. Back then, he was given a temporary prescription for Vicodin, which had run out with time. He has family members who also have prescriptions so they gave him 2 emergency pills to hold on in a little metal box the size of a credit card. While walking through security, a guard noticed it and asked Colin if he had the original bottle or a doctor’s note on him. Colin told him he did not and told them he got the pills from a family member. Also, Colin will be the first to tell you he understood them having a problem with this, as do I. As kind as the gesture is, it is still technically illegal and the guards had every right to say something and get the nearby Sheriff Deputies involved. However, what transpired past that point is what I take issue with today.

The Sheriff Deputies were very respectful to Colin and vice-versa. Colin openly told them how he got them and apologized for any trouble it caused. The Deputies searched his car and, upon not finding anything else, thanked him for being so cooperative and not jumping them or anything–they even told him it was refreshing to question someone who didn’t immediately turn belligerent at the first sign of law enforcement! They told him he could go without a ticket or anything and told him they trusted him to dispose of the pills (they said California law prevented them from being able to touch and/or dispose of it themselves).

The guards, however, made a show of it. First, they surrounded Colin while he was being questioned by the Deputies and pointed and laughed at him. We still were not sure what was going on (and, remember, we had already paid something to the tune of $111.00 for Mom, Trev, Ben and I to get entry tickets) so we asked what was going on. One of the guards looked at us with a smile on his face and said, “We can’t comment on an on-going investigation” as if he was this week’s guest star on C.S.I.! I couldn’t believe he said that–I can understand not commenting, but this guy was openly treating this as if it was a joke and they all apparently had nothing better to do than harass and embarrass someone over something as trivial as 2 pills that were already being handled by the Deputies. One guard caught the pills, but as soon as word traveled around the ring of them around Colin numbered around 10—if the park truly has the security problems Six Flags claims warranted the ridiculous security–shouldn’t those guards be on the lookout for real threats to the park instead of nerds like us and Colin? These bullies acted as if they had the bust of the century when it was pretty obvious that any individual out there who could represent a real threat to the park would make them wet their pants and tremble in their boots. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! On the one hand, you have the professional Deputies there to do a job–and they did it very well, taking the chance to make it a teachable moment. On the other, you had these rent-a-cops (I usually HATE that term as I respect authority, but these clowns are no replacement for law enforcement) acting so unprofessional that I half wondered if they were just losers picked up from the local pre-release and bought a dollar store badge on the way to the park. All they cared about was their ego.

So, one of these guards (with a Deputy in tow) told Colin that, while no charges would be filed, he wouldn’t be allowed into the park for 24 hours. Colin was our only ride–we told this to the guards and asked if we could have a refund. They told us we should, “Enjoy our day at the park since we already paid for it.” Yeah, right. Your friend was just nearly arrested and the guard is telling you, “Hey, go ride the rides while your friend watches from the gate.” My conscience wouldn’t allow that, Trevor’s or Ben’s or Mom’s wouldn’t allow it either–I don’t know what kind of friend these guards are to their ‘friends’ but real friends don’t do that, especially to the guy gracious enough to drive you all around LA! Plus, before it was decided Colin wouldn’t be arrested, we thought his car might get impounded. When we talked to the guards about this and told them he was our only ride–they told us, “Too bad, we didn’t ask him to bring stuff into the park!” When we advised them we may need a refund to pay for a taxi back (which would probably have been 2-300 bucks), they told us the same thing again, as if we somehow were responsible for Colin bringing the pills in and our punishment was to loose 100+ bucks to Six Flags before the taxi ride home.

We were still passed security and Mom had already entered the park. She left the exit to find us again and she had to try and pass security a second time. This time, the guard found some felt tip pens (NOTICE: I said PENS not MARKERS–these are pens for writing checks and the like). He took them out of her purse and said she could not take them in because they somehow constituted a threat to the park (what were we going to do? Try to clean up their shoddy paint jobs???????)—-how the hell does this math add up:

51 year old mother of 2 + felt tip PENS = serious security threat to Six Flags Magic Mountain?????????????

By this point I left the security area–Mom saw this and took her pens and left the security area too.

I went to the ticket booth and talked with the attendant. She told me that Six Flags policy is to never give refunds under any circumstances. As she was telling me this, I am getting more and more upset (even to the point, I am ashamed to admit this, I dropped an F-bomb–normally I don’t mind the word itself just dropping it in a customer-service situation bugs me) and a customer behind me said, “You could always sell the ticket to someone else in line–you will lose some value but at least you get some money back!” Capital idea I thought, I asked a customer if she was interested (this being the first time I ever tried to sell a ticket like that–I have no idea if it is illegal or what–can’t imagine why it would be….) and one of the rent-a-cops approached and said I could be arrested on the spot for trying to sell my ticket. So, let me get this straight:

A) We paid $111.00 for tickets.
B) One of our group won’t be allowed in.
C) This makes it so we can’t go since we are all 1 group with 1 car.
D) Six Flags won’t refund our money, instead they will pay us with a bully attitude and snide remarks.
E) I can’t sell the ticket to anyone else, even though it is my ticket I bought fair-and-square from Six Flags–they already have the money for it and only 1 person per ticket will get in, we aren’t gaming the system in any way!!!

So, Mom stepped in. She said, “Fine, I will keep the tickets and write the Governor.” The guard looked her straight in the face and said, “Miss, we get that every day.”

At an amusement facility that is open to the public, you should plan to once in a while get the crazy people. Some people can’t be pleased, and some are just assholes. However, if you get people threatening to write the Governor every single day over the quality of your park (to the point that you admit this at the drop of a hat), methinks maybe all the complaining people aren’t the crazies……. Maybe your jerk wad security guards, moody attendants, money-grab policies and shoddy upkeep add up to an offensive plot of land that stands as nothing short of an insult to the brilliant minds at firms like S&S, B&M, Intamin and Great Coasters International, the geniuses who built the coasters that attract the crowds you so love to both financially bleed and oppress.

As we were leaving the park, Colin was nearly shaken to tears by the treatment he endured–and, for good reason. It was very understandable to ask him to dispose of those pills and talk to him about it. However, once we got into the realm of screwing other people out of their money, forming mob-groups of security guards to publicly shame guests and acting as if a felt tip pen was a threat to the park, Six Flags ran out of excuses. Colin doesn’t argue with the name anymore. If you want the Guantamano Bay experience, you don’t have to leave for Cuba anymore!!!!

On our first trip, one of our drivers told us that rumor was holding that, with Six Flags entering bankruptcy, that Magic Mountain was on the chopping block. I hope that is true, then a good park the likes of Knott’s or Cedar Point could buy the coasters and give them the TLC they so deserve. After this trip, one of our hotel’s concierges (upon hearing the story) insisted he believed it was racial stereotyping. I told him I had a hard time accepting that, seeing as 90% of the involved people where white on both sides, but the concierge held firm and said you wouldn’t believe all the forms it takes. Regardless of whether it was racial or not–some of the stereotyping or mistreatment themes ring through, where a small issue is taken as an opportunity to blow something out of proportion just to boost one’s own ego at the expense of someone else.

I will write some more blogs soon, I need to blog about the rest of our trip (which was AWESOME) on top of a blog I had been meaning to write for a long time explaining how to be a start-up business in the game industry. However, I felt that this was paramount to get out there: this park is toxic in its’ insistence in treating patrons like crap. If the gang-related problems of the past at Magic Mountain were caused by mismanagement or lack of management, that mis/lack management is only outmatched by the horrid management that exists today. I don’t have any other referent for Six Flags. Despite being a hardcore coaster fan, Magic Mountain is the only one I have ever visited, and 2 for 2 it has been poor experiences. If any of you live in different parts of the country–could you please sign in to Kaizen World Online (KWO) and post on whether other Six Flags are like this? It would suck to know other great coasters like Kingda Ka live in such filth–however it would also be uplifting if I found out that Magic Mountain is just the bad apple in what is otherwise a great chain–either way I yearn to know!!